I was at a dinner attended by lots of authors when we got to chatting about Twitter and whether anyone could ever make any sense of it (as you do). "People just chat as if they are having a conversation," Nina Killham said. "And if you want to trace the thread of a conversation, everything's back to front!" Fiona Dunbar added. The result was a Twitter retelling of Romeo and Juliet by Nina ... followed by a response on Facebook from Fiona - a Twitter version of Macbeth! I've offered to put Fiona's Macbeth on my blog - as it's a bit spicy for her own kiddy targetted blog ... and what do you know ... responding to Fiona's response to Nina's Romeo and Juliet is a tweet version of Otthelo by Mrs Bung aka Kathy Evans. Anyone else fancy a bit of Tweetspeare?
Following Nina Killham’s hilarious ‘Romeo and Juliet on Twitter’ I couldn’t resist following up with a similar version of ‘The Scottish Play’. Truth be told, I did it at three in the morning; sometimes an idea grabs you like that, and you just have to go with it. As I’m a Nice Children’s Author, and unlike my books this carries a 13+ age guidance (parents take note!) I thought I’d better not put it on my own blog. But anything goes on Notes From The Slushpile...well, it does now. FD
(as every story unfolds in reverse on Twitter, so does this!)
Macduff: Ah, but I came out t’other way: C-section #getoutclause #lastlaugh
Macbeth: Major bit of aggro with Macduff, but it’s OK no man born of a woman’s u-no-what can get me #getoutclause
Macbeth: Hang on…oh shit.
Macbeth: Neighbour’s Leylandii seriously out of hand. This means war.
Twitter is over capacity.
Macduff: PS: bring branches from Birnam Wood.
Macduff: RT Malcolm: To all my followers: #ff Macbeth@Dunsinane.
Macbeth: Oh well. RT@ Randombint: OMG LadyMac topped herself
Randombint: OMG LadyMac topped herself please RT
Macbeth: Can I remind you lot my position here secure till the day Birnam Wood moves on my castle, i.e. NEVER?? #getoutclause
Macbeth: I now have 10K enemies. This is a first. Is it scotch o’clock yet?
Twitter is over capacity.
Macbeth: OK, noticed loads of you are unfollowing me. Well, f**k the lot of you.
LadyMac: This is driving me nuts! #personalhygeinefail
LadyMac: Seriously; anyone? I’ve tried Swarfega and everything.
LadyMac: Anyone know of a good heavy-duty cleaner?
3Witches: @Macbeth Cool, whatever.
Macbeth: @3Witches OK, phew! Well, just to be on the safe side I’ll have his lot bumped off.
3Witches: @Macbeth Yeah. But it’s OK, you’re safe: no man born of woman can harm you, and nothing’ll happen til Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane Castle.
Macbeth: @3Witches He does?
3Witches: @Macbeth Beware Macduff. He hates your ass.
Macbeth: @3Witches OK, I’m shit-scared now. Tell me what to do.
LadyMac: Well, that was a massive #partyfail. Husband seriously lost marbles: stress, you know. Sorry all. Will reschedule.
BanquoInHeaven: OK, I am SO getting my own back for this #deathrevenge
Macbeth: @LadyMac Nothing.
LadyMac: @Macbeth Only what??
Macbeth: @LadyMac Er, says he’s going to. Only, um…
LadyMac: @Macbeth Darling, is Banquo coming to the party tonight? And Fleance? Spot of #guestlisthell
LadyMac: On a more positive note those dreadful sons of Duncan’s, Malcolm & the other 1, have left now so you can strip their beds.
LadyMac: @DunsinaneStaff: Can you come upstairs, north wing? Bit of a mess: more bodies, I’m afraid.
Banquo: RT ScottishIndependent: KING DUNCAN MURDERED AT DUNSINANE.
LadyMac: @Macbeth Oh ffs, get on with it.
Macbeth: Is this a dagger I see before me…?
LadyMac: @DuncanStaff: We’re well-stocked with booze, you’ll be glad to hear!
LadyMac: I like a man of action. Know what I mean, girls? A man of ACTION. #myhusbandisawimp
Macbeth: @LadyMac: Chuck, I’m not sure…
LadyMac: @Macbeth YES. IT IS.
Macbeth: @LadyMac: Is that strictly necessary?
LadyMac: @Macbeth Kitchen preps for our distinguished guest; just off to get knives sharpened, back soon. Love yoooo! xxx
LadyMac: @KingDuncan Squeeee! Can’t Wait.
KingDuncan: @Macbeth @LadyMac Coming for visit, get the haggis on.
DianaInHeaven: @LadyMac I would, darlin’, but this is an anachronism.
LadyMac: @DianaInHeaven: see to it, OK?
LadyMac: @Banquo: Oh yes it does. Knew it! Everybody: I’m gonna be queeeen! Please RT.
Banquo: @Macbeth OK, this doesn’t MEAN…
Macbeth: OMG!! OMG!!
KingDuncan: @Macbeth: Well done re: victory over Irish, Norwegians etc. I hereby pronounce you the new Thane of Cawdor!
Banquo: @Macbeth No, it’s bullshit. Well, except what they said about me begetting a line of Scottish kings #thatbitistrue
Macbeth: @Banquo Wow! I’m gonna be King. Are these bints for real?
3Witches: @Macbeth Yup. And Banquo gets the consolation prize: a Crackerjack pencil, and royal descendents.
Macbeth: @3Witches No shit! Srsly?
3Witches: @Macbeth Future Thane@Glamis! And Thane@Cawdor! And King@Scotland, even!
Macbeth: @3Witches You what?
3Witches: Our bets are on Macbeth #leadershipbattle