Thursday, 9 September 2010

Is this a mobile device I see before me?

I was at a dinner attended by lots of authors when we got to chatting about Twitter and whether anyone could ever make any sense of it (as you do). "People just chat as if they are having a conversation," Nina Killham said. "And if you want to trace the thread of a conversation, everything's back to front!" Fiona Dunbar added. The result was a Twitter retelling of Romeo and Juliet by Nina ... followed by a response on Facebook from Fiona - a Twitter version of Macbeth! I've offered to put Fiona's Macbeth on my blog - as it's a bit spicy for her own kiddy targetted blog ... and what do you know ... responding to Fiona's response to Nina's Romeo and Juliet is a tweet version of Otthelo by Mrs Bung aka Kathy Evans. Anyone else fancy a bit of Tweetspeare?

Following Nina Killham’s hilarious ‘Romeo and Juliet on Twitter’ I couldn’t resist following up with a similar version of ‘The Scottish Play’. Truth be told, I did it at three in the morning; sometimes an idea grabs you like that, and you just have to go with it. As I’m a Nice Children’s Author, and unlike my books this carries a 13+ age guidance (parents take note!) I thought I’d better not put it on my own blog. But anything goes on Notes From The Slushpile...well, it does now. FD

(as every story unfolds in reverse on Twitter, so does this!)

Macduff: Ah, but I came out t’other way: C-section #getoutclause #lastlaugh

Macbeth: Major bit of aggro with Macduff, but it’s OK no man born of a woman’s u-no-what can get me #getoutclause

Macbeth: Hang on…oh shit.

Macbeth: Neighbour’s Leylandii seriously out of hand. This means war.

Twitter is over capacity.

Macduff: PS: bring branches from Birnam Wood.

Macduff: RT Malcolm: To all my followers: #ff Macbeth@Dunsinane.

Macbeth: Oh well. RT@ Randombint: OMG LadyMac topped herself

Randombint: OMG LadyMac topped herself please RT

Macbeth: Can I remind you lot my position here secure till the day Birnam Wood moves on my castle, i.e. NEVER?? #getoutclause

Macbeth: I now have 10K enemies. This is a first. Is it scotch o’clock yet?

Twitter is over capacity.

Macbeth: OK, noticed loads of you are unfollowing me. Well, f**k the lot of you.

LadyMac: This is driving me nuts! #personalhygeinefail

LadyMac: Seriously; anyone? I’ve tried Swarfega and everything.

LadyMac: Anyone know of a good heavy-duty cleaner?

3Witches: @Macbeth Cool, whatever.

Macbeth: @3Witches OK, phew! Well, just to be on the safe side I’ll have his lot bumped off.

3Witches: @Macbeth Yeah. But it’s OK, you’re safe: no man born of woman can harm you, and nothing’ll happen til Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane Castle.

Macbeth: @3Witches He does?

3Witches: @Macbeth Beware Macduff. He hates your ass.

Macbeth: @3Witches OK, I’m shit-scared now. Tell me what to do.

LadyMac: Well, that was a massive #partyfail. Husband seriously lost marbles: stress, you know. Sorry all. Will reschedule.

BanquoInHeaven: OK, I am SO getting my own back for this #deathrevenge

Macbeth: @LadyMac Nothing.

LadyMac: @Macbeth Only what??

Macbeth: @LadyMac Er, says he’s going to. Only, um…

LadyMac: @Macbeth Darling, is Banquo coming to the party tonight? And Fleance? Spot of #guestlisthell

LadyMac: On a more positive note those dreadful sons of Duncan’s, Malcolm & the other 1, have left now so you can strip their beds.

LadyMac: @DunsinaneStaff: Can you come upstairs, north wing? Bit of a mess: more bodies, I’m afraid.


LadyMac: @Macbeth Oh ffs, get on with it.

Macbeth: Is this a dagger I see before me…?

LadyMac: @DuncanStaff: We’re well-stocked with booze, you’ll be glad to hear!

LadyMac: I like a man of action. Know what I mean, girls? A man of ACTION. #myhusbandisawimp

Macbeth: @LadyMac: Chuck, I’m not sure…

LadyMac: @Macbeth YES. IT IS.

Macbeth: @LadyMac: Is that strictly necessary?

LadyMac: @Macbeth Kitchen preps for our distinguished guest; just off to get knives sharpened, back soon. Love yoooo! xxx

LadyMac: @KingDuncan Squeeee! Can’t Wait.

KingDuncan: @Macbeth @LadyMac Coming for visit, get the haggis on.

DianaInHeaven: @LadyMac I would, darlin’, but this is an anachronism.

LadyMac: @DianaInHeaven: see to it, OK?

LadyMac: @Banquo: Oh yes it does. Knew it! Everybody: I’m gonna be queeeen! Please RT.

Banquo: @Macbeth OK, this doesn’t MEAN…

Macbeth: OMG!! OMG!!

KingDuncan: @Macbeth: Well done re: victory over Irish, Norwegians etc. I hereby pronounce you the new Thane of Cawdor!

Banquo: @Macbeth No, it’s bullshit. Well, except what they said about me begetting a line of Scottish kings #thatbitistrue

Macbeth: @Banquo Wow! I’m gonna be King. Are these bints for real?

3Witches: @Macbeth Yup. And Banquo gets the consolation prize: a Crackerjack pencil, and royal descendents.

Macbeth: @3Witches No shit! Srsly?

3Witches: @Macbeth Future Thane@Glamis! And Thane@Cawdor! And King@Scotland, even!

Macbeth: @3Witches You what?

3Witches: Our bets are on Macbeth #leadershipbattle

Fiona is the author of the Lulu Baker trilogy which has been turned into the TV series Jinx, and the Silk Sisters trilogy which features a girl with the power to change like a chameleon. The first book in her new series for 8-12s, Divine Freaks, is out early next year can follow Fiona's blog here.


  1. That's awesome! Technology as a tool for modern creativity! Shakespeare's Macbeth is a presence in my soon-to-be-released second in the series middle grade novel Dead Bird through the Cat Door. I love that Shakespeare can work for so many different mediums and age levels.

  2. This is wonderful! And love the photo. Who's next. Midsummers Night's Dream anyone?

  3. This is brilliant - Nina I was think MSND as well - it'll be crazy!

  4. You know when you read something and you like it so much you can't appreciate it because you are consumed with jealousy that YOU didn't write it?


    LOVED it. I can see a whole anthology - The Entire Works of Shakespeare, According to Twitter.

    Oh my God. Do it. You'll be a millionaire.

    *Stalks off gnashing teeth and wishing it had been her idea.*


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