Eureka!
Orrible Enrietta |
Eureka! No 1
I thought I'd spotted the 3R's as a
repeating pattern throughout the work, and not just after the EVENT
as previously indicated.
I'll show you what I mean but I'll use
Orrible Enrietta to give an example instead of Horrible Henry in case
I'm sued.
Reveal
Orrible Enrietta sneaked back into the
kitchen for the chocolate.
Reflect
'Chocolate is for kids. Grown ups
should eat carrots and soggy cabbage. It's my human right to eat that
chocolate. So I will!'
Orrible Enrietta stuffed the chocolate
in her mouth.
But something didn't seem quite right.
Some sentences, paragraphs didn't fit the pattern – what were they
doing, if they weren't revealing, reflecting, or reacting.
So I decided to check my research and
went back to James Scott Bell's Revision and Self-Editing but when I
looked in the book the three R's were not there! Even though that's
where I was convinced I'd discovered them. What was there was –
Action Scenes – Objective, Obstacle, Outcome.
Reaction Scenes – Emotion, Analysis, Decision.
Interesting! And now I was having…
Eureka! No 2! I had discovered The 5 Bricks of The Scene.
If this is a good old secret known to
many then that’s brilliant. But it’s new news to me.
The Bricks of The Scene is what story
structure is built from.
Something is revealed
There is an emotional response.
There is reflection/discussion
There is a decision
There is action
For example
Reveal
Orrible Enrietta was watching Zombie's
Rule, OK.
'It's your turn to wash the dishes,'
said Mum.
Emote
'No! Not fair!'
Reflect/discuss
'I did it last year! Why can't we use
paper plates. Why do we have to use stinky proper plates like rich
people? I'm too young. I'm too clumsy!'
That'll get her, thought Orrible Enrietta. Mum won't want her precious plates smashed.
That'll get her, thought Orrible Enrietta. Mum won't want her precious plates smashed.
But mum was one step ahead of her. 'Any
breakages come out of your pocket money.'
Emote
Grrr.
Reflect/Discuss
I'll think of something, thought Enrietta stomping into the kitchen. What would a genius do?
Emote
Grrr.
Reflect/Discuss
I'll think of something, thought Enrietta stomping into the kitchen. What would a genius do?
Decision
Aha! I'll wash them all right. But I won't clean
them.
Reaction/action
Orrible Enrietta turned the cold water
on. She rinsed the spaghetti off each plate and into the sink. Then
stacked each plate on the draining board. I'll leave the tap on, she
thought. It'll wash the spaghetti away. Then I won’t have to wash
the sink either. I am sooooooo brilliant!
'Done Mum,' she shouted. She dashed
back into the living room just as the Zombies chanted, 'Blood, blood,
brains and blood. You should run, oh yes, you should.'
That seems a lot better. But I hear you
cry (those of you who don’t want to follow rules or patterns)
Are there rules to break?
Yes! It doesn't have to be as
prescriptive as it sounds. But rule and patterns are there for a
reason, if you apply these bricks to any event, they will be there
e.g. I want toast. There’s no butter. Damn it! Shall I go to the
shops or have cereal? I’ll have cereal. I eat cereal. They really
are the bricks of life not just story.
The reveal and emotion bricks can be
alternated to escalate the emotional reaction to the reveal.
Here’s a different scenario.
Reveal
Mum interrupted Zombies Rule, OK. 'Mrs
Knowitall is coming for tea,' she said.
Emote
Noooooo, thought Orrible Enrietta.
Reveal
'She's bringing Nigel Knowitall for you
to play with.'
Emote
Nooooooooooooo, thought Orrible
Enrietta.
Reveal
'And the baby.'
Emote
I hate the baby!
The emotion and reflection/discussion
bricks can be alternated to escalate the panic of the situation.
Reflect/discuss
I need an incredibly clever plan that
only I can think of.
Emote
Aaargh! I can't think of one!
Reflect/discuss
I'll hide. Under the bed.
Emote
Grrr. Mum always looks there first.
Refelect/discuss
'Blood, blood, brains and blood,'
chanted the zombies on TV.
If only I was a zombie, thought
Enrietta. No one would ever come to the house if I was a zombie.
Decision
That's it! I'll be a zombie!
Once the decision is made there can
be no more reflection/discussion.
Action
'Blood, blood, brains and blood,'
chanted Enrietta. She shuffled towards the door, her arms stretched
out in front. 'I need flour and jam and mud.'
What can be missed out?
I'm very interested in 'the gap'. The
gap we leave for the reader to fill. This is probably the basis of
'show not tell' (will think more deeply on this, that could be a
giant blog post). But for now this is what I think happens. We invite
the reader to infer something because we have missed something out.
We give them a role to play in the story and they fill the gap with
their own life experiences and knowledge. I also think this is where
subjectivity comes in to play. People like books that allow them to
fill the gap easily. They relate to the gap you leave.
So what can we leave out? The reveal?
The emotion? The reflection/discussion? The decision? The action? Are
Reveal and Reaction essential? Does leaving out emote or reflect
provide the gap for the reader? Let's have a go. Let's go back to the
washing up scene-
Reaction/action
I'll leave the tap on, she thought.
It'll wash the spaghetti away. Then I won’t have to wash the sink
either. I am sooooooo brilliant!
'Done Mum,' she shouted. She dashed
back into the living room just as the Zombies chanted, 'Blood, blood,
brains and blood. You should run, oh yes, you should.'
Don't Reveal
the sink has overflowed.
Emote
Reveal
Her slippers left soggy footprints on
the floor.
Emote
'You are in soooo much trouble.'
The missing reveal from the text is
implied by Mum's emotional reaction. We as adults would be able to
fill the gap. But could children? Young children don't have the skill
to infer so the gap may be filled by an illustration. Which is why
it's essential to discuss the text and illustrations with them: to
make sure they have the whole picture.
So, what's on each brick?
Reveal
In no particular order
Who’s there.
The setting.
The obstacle.
The objective.
The tone.
etc
Emote
Any!
But it should be right for your
character type. Horrible Henry would be unlikely to do sadness. His
main emotions are frustration and joy.
Reflect/discuss
The situation.
The emotion.
The problem.
The consequences.
etc
Decision
The protagonist must make a decision
that will carry the story forward. He/she can have the decision made
for them depending on the story (a bomb goes off so they must move
on, the decision is out of his/her hands) but if all decisions are
made for them then it isn’t really the protagonists story is it?
Action
The action should be based on the
decision and should move the story along. We're not talking action as
in – she waved her hand at Mum. We're talking – so I plastered my
face with flour and dribbled on jam for the scars and lay in wait for
the BABY.
So
The story layers seem to be
The finished structure (Hero’s
Journey, Romantic Comedy etc) is created using –
The 7 steps of pacing and plotting
(name, preview, contrast, EVENT, reveal, reflect, react)
Which are built with –
The 5 bricks of The Scene (Reveal,
emote, reflect/discuss, decide, act)
And I’m wishing I’d called the 7
steps something else! That fits the analogy of a building. The 7
girders?
And then, I hear you cry over the internet, ‘What about
the cement? What's glueing it all together?
Well, that would be the...
WORDS!
Happy writing
Maureen
The Action Words Reading Scheme
Florence and the Meanies
The Funeverse poetry site.
WORDS!
Happy writing
Maureen
Maureen Lynas blogs intermittently on her own blog which she creatively named - Maureen Lynas
She is the author ofThe Action Words Reading Scheme
Florence and the Meanies
The Funeverse poetry site.
Thanks for this, absolutely fascinating. Am going to have another play with this now.
ReplyDeleteIt's great fun seeing the patterns in your own drafts, Vanessa. Glad you found it fascinating!
DeleteI think it's great fun to apply these 'rules' to books that have been written. But it's still best to just get on and write, otherwise you can get so bound up in the 'how to' that your writing gets, well, constipated!
ReplyDeleteI wrote a 366 word story which was published in an anthology. A creative writing tutor managed to find the 12 steps of the hero's journey in it! But I hadn't thought of that when I wrote it. I think that, once you've seen the rules and got your 'aha' moment, you need forget all about the rules and trust yourself!
I apply such (invaluable) rules after the first draft, when I discover a scene that is sloppy but can't initially see why. They also help me overcome that terrible moment of staring at the screen with no idea how to start (often a Monday.)
DeleteThanks for another great post, Maureen. Looking forward to your take on show, not tell.
Thanks for your comments Jackie and Rowena. I was applying this to a re-draft but think it will become so embedded in my head that it'll become something I automatically do as I write first drafts in the future, like Jackie and her short story. I think in the past when I re-drafted I re-drafted with a lack of knowledge and couldn't see why things were going wrong. Hopefully this won't be the case now.
DeleteI was going to say something intelligent, but then I started imagining myself as a large rock troll trying to use a keyboard.
ReplyDeleteI hope you've recovered!
DeleteOrrible Enrietta actually seems like an interesting story! I don't read a lot of children's books anymore (since I've moved on to YA), but I'm interested in what other directions the scenes you describe might go in.
ReplyDeleteSo am I! I only made her up for the blog. But, she may have legs, although there's no evidence of that in the pictures.
DeleteThis is great, I have just quickly done a practise run with one of my manuscripts and it really helped. I managed to answer a lot of of tricky problems and find a conclusion! Many thanks for sharing this, it was so useful.
ReplyDeleteHave you joined me in a Eureka moment!
DeleteThanks for sharing Maureen, This is really valuable stuff. It's one thing writing the story ... editing it is another – really good way to look at you scenes objectively and think about how they work for the reader.
ReplyDeleteYou should write a writing self help book. Maureen's Writing Pearls of Wisdom (Volume One).
Kate x
Don't think that hasn't occurred to me, Kate. It would probably be the silliest 'how to' book ever written. But first - that book deal.
DeleteFantastic analysis, Maureen - now I'm going to read it a few more times! You should write a book!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the light-hearted approach to your analysis. There are perhaps other patterns possible - but you seem to have a go-er here.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post
This is brilliant Maureen! You do these so well and they're SO helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou definite definite should collate these how to posts together into a book.
I so agree!
Delete