Notes from the Critique Group - Fictional Worlds

Investigating the SMALL WORLD/BIG WORLD in fiction.

Em Lynas

As 2017 begins I've been doing a lot of pondering on the real issues of the Small World/Big World I live in.

In 2016 my Small World was a very successful year both personally and professionally with my mam surviving a life threatening illness at the same time as I signed a three book deal with Nosy Crow. Woo hoo for us!

In contrast the Big World turned upside down and I am in a political and social reality that is uncomfortable for me. The human behaviour that's led to this move to TospyTurvy Land is puzzling and I, along with millions of others, feel powerless to influence any change as an individual. Perhaps we're waiting, hoping that someone will step forward to put the world the right way up again. As if one person could.

Of course, that would be the next step in fiction so maybe we're primed to hope for that.

Anyway, it got me thinking. How inciting does an Inciting Incident have to be before it incites action from a protagonist? Does it have to get personal i.e. invade the protagonist's Small World before a protagonist engages? And does it always propel the protagonist out of their comfort zone and into an uncomfortable zone. And how many zones away from the original comfort zone does the protagonist end up?

I kept thinking and now have many more questions.

What do I mean by the Big World?

Perhaps this could be defined as a situation outside the protagonist's normal life. Sometimes this will be BIG physically as in Star Wars and sometimes this will be BIG emotionally as in A Monster Calls. Both stories deal with death. One on a galactic level and one on a personal level.

Obviously not all stories deal with death. Perhaps the Big World of your story involves an issue faced and resolved. I once ran a picture book course where we sorted a pile of picture books by theme. The biggest pile dealt with death. The others were fear, love, friendship, kindness, growing up etc An interesting exercise!

Let's do another.

Stand in front of your bookshelves. Pick a book. Any book. Fiction. That you have read! Then ask.

What is the Small World the protagonist lives in?

e.g. Lord of the Rings - Hobbiton. Character secure in - The known. Geographically small, safe, friendly folk (mostly friendly, not dangerous), normal behaviours, predictable life and seasonal patterns, etc.

What is the Big World of the story?

e.g. Lord of the Rings - Middle Earth. Character insecure in - The unknown. Geographically big, dangerous, scary people, unpredictable behaviours,  difficult terrain, etc.

Is the Big World the same (e.g. physically, politically, or culturally) as the Small World?

Who inhabits the story in the Big World and is there an echo of this character dynamic in the Small World?

e.g. Lord of the Rings - Having defeated Sauron the hobbits return to their ordinary world they must battle on their own to save Hobbiton from Sharkey (Sauruman in disguise).

Harry Potter must battle the Dursleys in his Small World and Voldemort in the Big World.

In The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Arthur Dent's house is about to be bulldozed (Small World) but then discovers the whole world is about to be bulldozed (Big World, obviously!)

At what point does the protagonist become aware of the Big World?

They may be unaware the Big World exists until the inciting incident. e.g. Harry Potter - the Hogwarts letters arrive by owl.

They may already be aware e.g. Pride and Prejudice - the Bennett daughters are well aware they must have husbands. 

At what point does the reader become aware of the Big World?

Have hints been given as we're led to the reveal? e.g. Harry Potter.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. The implication being not everything in the book would be normal.

At what moment does the protagonist engage with the Big World?

e.g. Star Wars - Luke leaves his home planet.

Lord of the Rings - Frodo sets off to deliver the ring to the elves.

Why do they engage?

Is this a moment when the Big World impacts on the protagonist's Small World i.e. the Big World becomes personal? Must there always be a personal catalyst to prompt the protagonist to engage with the Big World? I'm ignoring the detective genre here. It's their job to engage with the problem.

Do they chose to engage or are they forced by circumstances?

e.g. Harry Potter has a moment of choice. He can go with Hagrid or stay with the Dursleys.

Arthur Dent has no choice. If he stays on the earth he will die.

If they have a choice then what will they lose if they don't engage with the Big World?

e.g. Harry will lose any chance of finding out who he is.

Arthur Dent will lose his life.

There's nothing left on the planet for Luke.

Is there a mentor involved in this decision/circumstance?

e.g. Hagrid for Harry, Ford Prefect for Arthur, gandalf for Frodo, Princess Leia for Luke? She gives information but does not offer him advice.

Refusal of the Call:

Is it normal human behaviour to accept that we live in a world that has a lot of injustice in it and is it normal in those circumstances for the protagonist to wish to continue to focus on the Small World?

e.g. Hunger Games book 1 - In the ordinary world Katniss focusses on feeding her family prior to the Inciting Incident of the selection for the Hunger Games. She has no ambition or desire to be heroic. She's doing what everyone else is doing, keeping her head down and trying not to be noticed.

How and why is the protagonist affected by this Big World moment more than the other characters? Why is he/she the hero?

e.g. Why isn't Sam the main protagonist in Lord of the Rings? Why is Frodo the only one who can carry the ring?

Last question.

At what point does the Big World become a problem the protagonist thinks they can solve?

e.g Why did Frodo volunteer to carry the ring to Mount Doom? Why was he the ONLY ONE.

I've focussed mainly on fantasy but I'm sure these questions can be applied to any genre, except those where the main character doesn't change. I'm about to re-read A Monster Calls which obviously moves from the Small World of having to the Big World of loss so I'll soon find out.

Now, time to go back to the real Small World/Big World TopsyTurvy Land scenario where values are being tested and the challenges seem overwhelming and confusing. Good luck to us all.

Best wishes for the future and I hope 2017 is a good year in your own Small World.

Em Lynas

You can tweet a ready made tweet about this post!

Tweet: Investigate the fictional Small World & Big World, moving character between the two. #notesfromtheslushpile #emlynas #amwriting

Em Lynas is represented by Amber Caraveo of Skylark Literary. 

The first book in the Toadspit Towers series will be published in Sep 2017 by Nosy Crow. 

Notes from the Critique Group - Meet the Agents! by Em Lynas

On Saturday members of our SCBWI BI York critique group headed up to Seven Stories in Newcastle for a mini Agents Party arranged by our lovely NE organisers Marie-Claire Imam Gutierrez and Cathy Brumby.





I was feeling very lucky as the agents appearing at the event were my agents - Amber Caraveao and Joanna Moult of Skylark Literary. They were coming up north so I got to see them and catch up on how our Witch School Sucks submissions were going. Very exciting!

Notes From a Critique Group by Em Lynas

Picture Book Tips for Me

We’ve had an influx of new picture book writers to our critique group in York and, as I began my author journey as a wannabe picture book author, it took me back to my first SCBWI meeting in 2008 (approx). 

I was so nervous! I was about to meet authors! I think there were four people there. Addy Farmer, Rebecca Colby and Catriona Tippin and me but I can’t be sure. I bombarded them with the outlines of at least six books. They were very kind.

I remembered submitting the same six pb texts to a publisher - all in one document. The covering letter makes me hide behind a cushion with embarrassment. I had no writing credentials to add to the letter but I had been a reception teacher for years so I estimated how many pb’s I’d read and included the number in the letter to show I knew my subject. I didn’t.

I also asked a local artist who does landscapes if she would be interested in illustrating one of my stories. I wouldn’t be able to pay her, she could have royalties. She sensibly and kindly declined.

So, it got me to thinking, after eight years of being a member of, and volunteer for, the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, after 4 conferences and numerous courses – What advice would I give my former enthusiastically naïve self and would that be a help to our new members? So I’ve written a letter to the me of 2008.

Dear Em
Just because you’ve read a lot of pb’s doesn’t mean you understand how they are created. You’ve been reading as a reader. Now you need to analyse as an author. I recommend climbing the following learning curve:

Identify your interest/genre

• Do you want to write stories, concept books, educational, non-fiction books?

Research - What's a concept book?

Ok, stories it is. Buy 2 copies each of your favourite pb stories (Or borrow from the library, scan them and print out). Rip them up. Lay them out. Get the highlighters out.

Investigate structure.

•  Is there an Act 1, 2 and 3? 
• Where does the story begin? 
• On the first page? No? Then where? 
• Where does the story end?
• Is it a question and answer format?
• Is it a journey?
• Is it a joke with a punchline? 
• Check out the Gruffalo
• Is there a midpoint? A change?
• Is the structure more or less symmetrical? 
• Does it use the power of the three? 
• Would it have been more effective with four? Five? Six? Or not?
• Find more books that use the power of the three. 

Not sure - Read Eve Heidi Bine-Stock’s book on Structure.

Check the plot

•  Is it age/audience appropriate?
•  At what age will the children relate to the premise?
•  What subject matters are covered by pbs?

Not sure? Go to the library. Go to the bookshop. Research, Em! Make a list. Here’s a start – bedtime, food, fears, love, relationships, growing etc

Pacing - highlighters at the ready.

• Where are the emotional ups and the downs? The oo's, the ah's, the eeks! 
• Where are the impact pages?
•  How do the page turns work?
• How is anticipation used?
• How does the language and rhythm pace the story?

Research - What's an impact page? How many ............ in an ellipsis. What's an ellipsis? 

Character

• Who is the story about?
•  Does the protagonist have a problem?
•  Does the protagonist solve the problem?
•   Does the protagonist always solve the problem in a picture book?
•   Do you have an emotional response to the protagonist? What is it?
•  How have the author and illustrator created this emotional response from you?
•   Why are so many pbs about animals?

More research. Get back to that library!

Language

• Is the target age reflected in the word count and word choice?
• Is the text rhythmical? Is it in prose? Is it in rhyme?
• Why is it in rhyme? Is it more effective in rhyme than prose? Would it have worked in prose?
•  Is the word choice interesting and challenging?
•  Is there alliteration, quiet words, loud words, sound words e.g. We’re Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury. Why?
• How do the words encourage page turning?
•  Is it fun for a parent or teacher to read over and over and over and over and over and over…

Who is the reader?

• Is this a book to be read by an adult to a child? (See last point)
•  Is it a book that can be read by a child once they are familiar with it?
• What age is the child? 
• Who is the child reader? Boy, girl, shy, extrovert, nervous, brave etc 
• Are they in need of reassurance? 
• Are they in need of comedy?
• Are they in need of adventure?
• What emotion are you trying to trigger in the child? 

Why are you the author?

• Why do you need to write this book?

Do you need an illustrator?

• No, Em! And don't even think about doing your own! 
• You submit the text. The publisher finds the illustrator. 

Hope this helps.

With much love and hugs from

The future Em

PS I know you’re wondering why your picture books haven’t been snapped up, when so many of the rejections are encouraging. Well, you will one day put your picture books through this simple checklist from James Scott Bell - 

LOCK.
Does the story have a:
A strong Lead Character
A clear Objective
Conflict
A Knock out ending

They will all fail the test.

Keep it up though, you’ll get there. One day.

PPS Read everything on The Picture Book Den. They are the experts.  

PPPPPPPPPPPS!!!!!! 

Join SCBWI. As soon as possible. Volunteer. Build relationships. Get an agent.

Future Em Lynas is now represented by Amber Caraveo of the Skylark Agency and is currently editing Witch School Sucks! Which is not a picture book. It is funny though.

She posts funny poems on the funeverse and is the author of the Action Words Reading Scheme. 

Notes from the Critique Group - Writers' Tics Uncovered.

by Maureen Lynas

One of the great things about attending a crit group is realising that you and other writers have ‘tics’ in common. By helping to identify them together you can help each other to remove them and improve your writing.

Here are two tics that came up during our latest crit session.

Metaphors and similes.

Simile: a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid.

Beware the cliché - as brave as a lion 

Beware The Blackadder Syndrome - This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War – unless you are Ben Elton, Richard Curtis or another genius of comedy.

Notes from the Critique Group - The Gap

by Maureen Lynas

This was a very interesting discussion at the SCBWI BI York critique group involving:

THE GAP
The space that's left for the reader when we SHOW rather than TELL

Leaving THE GAP gives the reader a role to play in the story as they infer and interpret the text. There's a balance to be had between showing and telling depending on the genre, age group, and experience of the reader.

Notes from the Critique Group - Awesome First Lines

By Maureen Lynas

The second post highlighting literary issues raised in critique groups. This came up recently at our SCBWI BI critique group in York.

Awesome first lines

What are we aiming for?

I've written an awesome first line that will wow the agents and engage the reader.

OR

I've written an appropriate first line that will wow the agents and engage the reader.

We've seen some amazing first lines in our critique group. Lines that have that wow factor. Lines that we've loved, admired and wished we'd written.

Unfortunately, they weren't always appropriate for the story that followed. They set a tone, an expectation, a hint of a totally different story, a totally different world, and genre. It's so easy to fall into the trap of creating a darling but a first line has a job to do so you may have to assassinate yours.

Notes from the Critique Group

By Maureen Lynas

When Candy said - Would you like to start blogging on the slushpile again? - I said yes immediately. Then spent two months thinking – what about?

The size of my slushpile? Done. It’s even bigger than when I first blogged about it. It wobbles now. Sometimes it sways. It may topple.

The seven steps to pacing and plotting? Done. But I could talk about the steps for ever. So that theme was a possible.

The five bricks of story? Done.  I think I'm up to seven now.

Show not tell? Done, said Maureen as she exhibited frustration, annoyance and desperation through her body language.

To procrastinate I read Jennie Nash's excellent post on writing groups (on Jane Friedman’s blog) because our SCBWI BI York group was about to meet.