Incompetence - The Series

Previously on Incompetence- The Series:

Episode One


Our very excited Lesser-spotted Red-faced Authors
have hatched from their egg of unconscious incompetence
and discovered a world in which they
don't know what they don't know.



Please Note : If you've just read the first episode
and found no reference to the Lesser-spotted Red-faced Author
blame my incompetence and lack of imagination at the time.


Episode Two
The fledgling authors discover just how enormous their incompetence is
and they now

know what it is that they don't know.

Such a lot to learn!

Such small heads!

Tantrums, feather pulling and flocking are observed until our Lesser-spotted Red-faced Authors reach the third stage in their development –
Episode three- Happy New Competence! Our authors have reached the third stage of learning - Conscious Competence.

I know what I know and don’t I know it! Yippee!

And now for the final episode on Incompetence – Unconscious Competence.

Me? 
Competent? 
Am I? 
Wow! 
Really?

Meet Flapper. She’s been published! She’s flown to the land of the Greater-spotted Authors with her book in her beak, and now she wants to know -

Is she a Greater-spotted Author yet and – drum roll for big question – have the flock of Greater-spotted Authors actually achieved Stage four – unconscious competence. Do they instinctively use and apply their knowledge? Because she’s not certain she’s there yet, even though the book is out and the reviews are egg-crackingly excellent.

Does she get an answer? She does. Yes. Then she gets another and another and another until she’s reeling with the confusion of it all.

Then Clever Cluck comes forward to help with some questions of her own.

‘Can an author ever be unconsciously competent when every book is different? What type of author stands the biggest chance of being unconsciously competent? Do you have to be unconsciously competent in everything to write a good book? Was Margaret Mitchell at stage four when she wrote Gone With the Wind?’

One quick tweet and Flapper had an answer, Yahoo!

According to Contemporary Authors, Mitchell worked steadily on Gone with the Wind from 1926 to 1934, with brief periods of "discouragement" in 1927 and 1934. In April of 1935 she gave the manuscript to Macmillan editor, Harold Latham to read and he sent her a telegram saying that her novel had great potential. It was published in 1936.

Ten years, thinks Flapper. That doesn’t sound very unconsciously competent at all. I think she was wide awake and full of consciousness. In fact, I suspect much crossing out and redrafting.

‘Then of course there’s Harper Lee?’ says Clever Cluck.

More tweeters join in and Wikipedia’s first to answer.

’Having written several long stories, Harper Lee located an agent in November 1956. The following month at the East 50th townhouse of her friends Michael Brown and Joy Williams Brown, she received a gift of a year's wages from them with a note: "You have one year off from your job to write whatever you please. Merry Christmas." She quit her job and devoted herself to her craft. Within a year, she had a first draft. Working with J. B. Lippincott & Co. editor Tay Hohoff, she completed To Kill a Mockingbird in the summer of 1959. Published July 11, 1960.’

‘So, only four years,’ says Flapper. ‘Maybe there was a bit more competence, or maybe it was a shorter book?’

‘Have you considered some slightly more prolific authors,’ asks Clever Cluck. ‘How about Austin?’

More mad tweeting and Wikipedia is first again with his answer.

‘Jane Austin’s artistic apprenticeship lasted from her teenage years until she was about 35 years old. During this period, she experimented with various literary forms, including the epistolary novel which she tried then abandoned, and wrote and extensively revised three major novels and began a fourth. From 1811 until 1816, with the release of Sense and Sensibility (1811), Pride and Prejudice (1813), Mansfield Park (1814) and Emma (1816), she achieved success as a published writer. She wrote two additional novels, Northanger Abbey and Persuasion, both published posthumously in 1818, and began a third, which was eventually titled Sanditon.

‘Now!’ Our Flapper is flapping! ‘There’s someone I can relate to! There’s someone who’s been through the stages of learning how to write.’

‘But,’ interrupts Clever Cluck, who’s warming to the theme now. ‘Did the books become more interesting, more engaging, have stronger characters, more complex plots, as she became more experienced? Or did Austen display a tendency towards prolific genre writing.’

‘Aha! Prolific genre writing!’ Flapper feels that she’s getting nearer some sort of answer and her feathers are fluffed. ‘Maybe this is where authors genuinely demonstrate their unconscious competence. What about Agatha Christie? How productive was she!’ This last bit was said as a statement rather than a question.

The whole flock of Greater-spotted Authors is tweeting madly now, Flapper’s still flapping and Clever Cluck is, oh all right – Clever Cluck’s clucking.

And good old Wiki answers with – ‘Agatha Christie wrote 79 novels: 72 under her name, 1 under her second husband's last name and 6 under the name Mary Westmacott.’

Then Jeeves interrupts with a tweet of his own – ‘Christie has written over two billion books worldwide and has been translated into over 45 languages.’

Now that is impressive! thinks Flapper. She must have been unconscious at some point!

Wikipedia’s full of himself as he announces, ‘Barbara Cartland is Queen of the Unconscious Authors! Seven hundred and twenty three books! Her first works seem to have been very different to the books that most readers are familiar with. Cartland published her first novel, Jigsaw in 1923, a risqué society thriller that became a bestseller. She also began writing and producing somewhat racy plays, one of which, Blood Money (1926), was banned by the Lord Chamberlain's Office. But she soon settled down and started to produce novels that proved to be exactly what a lot of people wanted to read he added.

‘So, little Flapper,’ says Clever Cluck. ‘What is it these authors have become so adept at? What part of writing have they embedded in their subconscious so that they can write all of these books?’

At that moment (this is turning into a story!) a Masked Agent flew down and landed on a nearby, very conveniently placed, branch.

‘I have the answer,’ he said wisely. ‘These particular authors are unconsciously competent at the following -

They devise characters that can go from book to book.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot and Inspector Japp
Ian Fleming’s James Bond and M
Alexander McCall Smith’s Precious Ramotswe and Mma Makutsi
Or
They use archetypes repeatedly
Barabara Cartland’s brave and feisty heroine who never the less will require rescuing by the rugged, fearless, yet sensitive, hero.

They keep the structure the same
Bond - the Hero’s Journey.
Poirot – a murder must be solved, there’ll be clues, red herrings, then a revelation.
Precious Ramotswe – a mystery must be solved, there’ll be clues, red herrings, then a revelation.
Cartland – Woman meets man A and doesn’t like him. Woman meets man B and likes him. Woman realises man B is bad news and man A is the one and only love of her life.

The premise is constant
Bond – The world is under threat from a supremely nasty villain and Bond must save humanity.
Poirot – Someone (sometimes lots of someones) is murdered and Poirot will find out who did it.
Precious Ramotswe – Someone commits a crime and Precious will make sure they come to justice.
Cartland – Girl falls in love with the right boy.

The voice is consistent
The author understands how to write, how to use the right tone, relevant motifs, and appropriate dialogue for time, setting and character.

The wise one nods wisely and falls asleep, leaving the flock to wonder – which one am I? And what’s left for my conscious mind to do?

So Flapper is still left with a question - Am I going to be an author who strives to re-invent the wheel with every book, constantly battling away at my incompetence or am I going to take what I am currently unconsciously competent at and work with it?

Where are you?

Writing is hard, right? Teenage Kicks at Random House

By Teri Terry

"A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." - Thomas Mann

This is so true. Every word must be the right word, the only one that in combination with all the other right words, sentences and paragraphs creates a chain that leads all the way from page one to ‘the end’ in an inevitable, flawless jigsaw, where the ending isn’t suspected but gives that satisfied of course when it is reached. At least…. that is the plan.

And some days, it flows, and all is right in my world. Others, not so much. And those are the days I’ve been having lately.

Last Tuesday I was lucky enough to attend the Reading Agency’s Teenage Kicks at Random House in London. Led by Bucks this year through High Wycombe Headspace and Children’s Reading Partners, authors Malorie Blackman, Bali Rai and Jenny Downham were there to inspire and answer questions. They were wonderful, warm and approachable, and generous with their responses.

Bali, Malorie & Jenny

One question they were asked is: what is the hardest thing about writing? And since I’ve been finding it hard going myself lately, my ears instantly perked up.

Answering the tough questions

For Malorie Blackman, the hardest thing is reworking. The most fun is the first draft, just getting the story out. But after that? She admits to a perfectionist streak. She prints it out, goes through it again and again, makes changes and prints it again. This happens six or seven times before she lets her editor see it. She finds the dedication to get through this is hard, as by then she just wants to get on to the next thing.

Jenny Downham never plans. She writes much like a stream of consciousness for weeks and weeks. Months can go by before she knows where she is going: so for her, the hardest thing is going down the wrong path.

Bali Rai said his hardest thing is much like Malorie’s. He also has trouble keeping other ideas out of his head. Always while writing, he is thinking of other things, and getting excited about stuff he hasn’t written more so than what he is working on. Keeping those things separate is difficult. Though he also said he doesn’t find any of it particularly hard hard, because writing was his hobby before he started getting paid for it. He feels privileged to do it, and enjoys it most of the time: apart from being plagued by too many ideas. Can you have too many ideas?

Through the evening you could see they all had the joy: that feeling you can only get from creating characters and the world they inhabit from nothing but imagination and desire. And they reminded me why I put myself through it.

Sharing the joy!

Writing isn’t easy. But it is so worth it.

And what did I think of the Reading Agency’s Teenage Kicks at Random House?

As thirteen year old Katherine summed up when asked what she thought of the evening: it was awesome.

Katherine meets her hero

The Class of 2010: Undiscovered Voices One Year On

By Nick Cross
Guest Blogger

Undiscovered Voices is SCBWI British Isles' genius scheme to get twelve of its members' work under the noses of the biggest and best in children's publishing. With the 2012 competition kicking off in just a couple of weeks, Nick Cross – one of last year's winners – reports on the difference a year makes:

Winners on the night of the Undiscovered Voices reception: Left to right foreground: Yona Wiseman, Lisa Joy Smith, David Cousins, Anne Anderson, Paula Rawsthorne; back row: Nick Cross, Melvin Burgess (who delivered the keynote), Jane McLoughlin, Lauren Sabel, Abbie Todd, Claire O'Brien, Emily George 

Twelve months after the launch of the Undiscovered Voices 2010 anthology, we winners are, quite frankly, old news. But that didn't stop us meeting up last weekend to practice those stories to tell our grandkids.

It was the first time that we'd all been together since the launch party, and the circumstances couldn't have been more different – a long lunch by the Thames and a chance to catch up.

From left and round the table: Anne Anderson, Nick Cross, Emily George,   Claire O'Brien, Graham, Lisa  Joy Smith,   Abbie Todd, Jane McLoughlin

The only problem with the anthology launch party was that the authors were physically not allowed to talk to each other - as soon as we attempted it, someone from Working Partners would usher us off to network with another agent or editor.

So, some awkwardness might have been expected when we all got together, especially after so long apart. But thanks to social networking and a shared sense of struggle, it felt like a meeting of old friends.

It was just a shame that geography conspired to keep Lauren Sabel and Yona Wiseman from joining us.

Of the twelve winners, six have so far signed with an agent and four have a book contracted for publication. That's a pretty good hit rate in a tough market and a figure I expect to be higher by the time the 2012 anthology is published.

From left to right: Anne Anderson, Emily George, Paula Rawsthorne, Dave Cousins, Claire O'Brien, Graham (Lisa's partner), Lisa Smith, Abbie Todd, Jane McLoughln

Paula Rawsthorne will be the first to come to market this year with The Truth About Celia Frost. Paula showed us her hot-off-the-press cover design for the teen novel and I heard from a bookseller the next day that Usborne have already sent out bound proofs of the book. What was I saying about us being old news? IT WAS A LIE!

Dave Cousins showed off some snazzy logo designs for gritty teen writing collective The Edge, which Paula is also a member of. Dave's YA novel Fifteen Days without a Head is due to be published by OUP early in 2012.

Claire O'Brien has two books coming out from Orchard within months of each other next year.

Jane McLoughlin has had a tough route to publication, but I'm very pleased to say that At Yellow Lake has found a home at Frances Lincoln. Jane is going to be a natural at school visits - her personality is so big we had to find it another chair!

Paula's even got this cool book trailer for her forthcoming book!

I received some gentle ribbing for the over-excited blogging I did in the early days after our win, depicting the race between us to get published. I think we've all learnt a huge amount in the last year – one thing I've definitely learnt is that writing and getting published is a marathon, not a sprint.

It was such a pleasure to chat with the writers who I hadn't had much contact with at the launch, like Anne Anderson, Jude Ensnaff and Emily George.

We compared scars and told war stories, such as the agent who looked dead bored when I pitched to her and who later told one of us that her book "wasn't as funny as I expected."

Abbie Todd talked about her agent's steely determination to get her a book deal, which bodes well for her future prospects. Despite the caprices of the publishing industry, there was a lot of optimism in the room – there have been inevitable disappointments, but we've all collected a lot of goodwill and good contacts.

Sara Grant and Sara O'Connor

We're incredibly thankful for the hard work put in by Sara Grant and Sara O'Connor, who will again edit this year's anthology.

This is despite Sara O'Connor leaving Working Partners to become a big shot at Hodder Children's books and Sara Grant celebrating the imminent publication of her own debut novel Dark Parties.

Undiscovered Voices transformed the lives of twelve debut authors in 2008 and again in 2010. Next time, it may well be you.

After appearing in Undiscovered Voices, Nick Cross signed with agent Jenny Savill of Andrew Nurnberg Associates. He blogs about writing every Friday at whoatemybrain.com. Nick is currently writing a brand new 9-12 adventure novel that he promises will "knock your mind and blow your socks off."

Nick Cross won his place in Undiscovered Voices with his novel Back from the Dead.  Nick also writes a blog called Who Ate My Brain.