by Maureen Lynas
Eureka!
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Orrible Enrietta
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I'm always on the look out for
patterns and structures when I'm analysing books and characters and this week was a
breakthrough week for me. My last blog was on the Seven Steps of Structure and I thought the last three steps Reveal, Reflect and
React needed a bit more analysis. So I got out the highlighters and
put Horrid Henry (and his new friend Enrietta) back under the microscope.
Eureka! No 1
I thought I'd spotted the 3R's as a
repeating pattern throughout the work, and not just after the EVENT
as previously indicated.
I'll show you what I mean but I'll use
Orrible Enrietta to give an example instead of Horrible Henry in case
I'm sued.
Orrible Enrietta sneaked back into the
kitchen for the chocolate.
'Chocolate is for kids. Grown ups
should eat carrots and soggy cabbage. It's my human right to eat that
chocolate. So I will!'
Orrible Enrietta stuffed the chocolate
in her mouth.
But something didn't seem quite right.
Some sentences, paragraphs didn't fit the pattern – what were they
doing, if they weren't revealing, reflecting, or reacting.
So I decided to check my research and
went back to James Scott Bell's Revision and Self-Editing but when I
looked in the book the three R's were not there! Even though that's
where I was convinced I'd discovered them. What was there was –
Action Scenes – Objective, Obstacle,
Outcome.
Reaction Scenes – Emotion, Analysis,
Decision.
Interesting! And now I was having…
Eureka! No 2! I had discovered The 5 Bricks of The
Scene.
If this is a good old secret known to
many then that’s brilliant. But it’s new news to me.
The Bricks of The Scene is what story
structure is built from.
Something is revealed
There is an emotional response.
There is reflection/discussion
There is a decision
There is action
For example
Reveal
Orrible Enrietta was watching Zombie's
Rule, OK.
'It's your turn to wash the dishes,'
said Mum.
Emote
'No! Not fair!'
Reflect/discuss
'I did it last year! Why can't we use
paper plates. Why do we have to use stinky proper plates like rich
people? I'm too young. I'm too clumsy!'
That'll get her, thought
Orrible Enrietta. Mum won't want her precious plates smashed.
But mum was one step ahead of her. 'Any
breakages come out of your pocket money.'
Emote
Grrr.
Reflect/Discuss
I'll think of something, thought Enrietta stomping into the kitchen. What would a genius do?
Decision
Aha! I'll wash them all right. But I won't clean
them.
Reaction/action
Orrible Enrietta turned the cold water
on. She rinsed the spaghetti off each plate and into the sink. Then
stacked each plate on the draining board. I'll leave the tap on, she
thought. It'll wash the spaghetti away. Then I won’t have to wash
the sink either. I am sooooooo brilliant!
'Done Mum,' she shouted. She dashed
back into the living room just as the Zombies chanted, 'Blood, blood,
brains and blood. You should run, oh yes, you should.'
That seems a lot better. But I hear you
cry (those of you who don’t want to follow rules or patterns)
Are there rules to break?
Yes! It doesn't have to be as
prescriptive as it sounds. But rule and patterns are there for a
reason, if you apply these bricks to any event, they will be there
e.g. I want toast. There’s no butter. Damn it! Shall I go to the
shops or have cereal? I’ll have cereal. I eat cereal. They really
are the bricks of life not just story.
The reveal and emotion bricks can be
alternated to escalate the emotional reaction to the reveal.
Here’s a different scenario.
Reveal
Mum interrupted Zombies Rule, OK. 'Mrs
Knowitall is coming for tea,' she said.
Emote
Noooooo, thought Orrible Enrietta.
Reveal
'She's bringing Nigel Knowitall for you
to play with.'
Emote
Nooooooooooooo, thought Orrible
Enrietta.
Reveal
'And the baby.'
'Nooooooooooooooooooo!
Not the BABY!
Anything but the BABY!'
The emotion and reflection/discussion
bricks can be alternated to escalate the panic of the situation.
Reflect/discuss
I need an incredibly clever plan that
only I can think of.
Emote
Aaargh! I can't think of one!
Reflect/discuss
I'll hide. Under the bed.
Emote
Grrr. Mum always looks there first.
Refelect/discuss
'Blood, blood, brains and blood,'
chanted the zombies on TV.
If only I was a zombie, thought
Enrietta. No one would ever come to the house if I was a zombie.
Decision
That's it! I'll be a zombie!
Once the decision is made there can
be no more reflection/discussion.
Action
'Blood, blood, brains and blood,'
chanted Enrietta. She shuffled towards the door, her arms stretched
out in front. 'I need flour and jam and mud.'
What can be missed out?
I'm very interested in 'the gap'. The
gap we leave for the reader to fill. This is probably the basis of
'show not tell' (will think more deeply on this, that could be a
giant blog post). But for now this is what I think happens. We invite
the reader to infer something because we have missed something out.
We give them a role to play in the story and they fill the gap with
their own life experiences and knowledge. I also think this is where
subjectivity comes in to play. People like books that allow them to
fill the gap easily. They relate to the gap you leave.
So what can we leave out? The reveal?
The emotion? The reflection/discussion? The decision? The action? Are
Reveal and Reaction essential? Does leaving out emote or reflect
provide the gap for the reader? Let's have a go. Let's go back to the
washing up scene-
Reaction/action
I'll leave the tap on, she thought.
It'll wash the spaghetti away. Then I won’t have to wash the sink
either. I am sooooooo brilliant!
'Done Mum,' she shouted. She dashed
back into the living room just as the Zombies chanted, 'Blood, blood,
brains and blood. You should run, oh yes, you should.'
Don't Reveal
the sink has overflowed.
'Enrietta!' cried Mum, storming into
the living room.
Reveal
Her slippers left soggy footprints on
the floor.
Emote
'You are in soooo much trouble.'
The missing reveal from the text is
implied by Mum's emotional reaction. We as adults would be able to
fill the gap. But could children? Young children don't have the skill
to infer so the gap may be filled by an illustration. Which is why
it's essential to discuss the text and illustrations with them: to
make sure they have the whole picture.
So, what's on each brick?
Reveal
In no particular order
Who’s there.
The setting.
The obstacle.
The objective.
The tone.
etc
Emote
Any!
But it should be right for your
character type. Horrible Henry would be unlikely to do sadness. His
main emotions are frustration and joy.
Reflect/discuss
The situation.
The emotion.
The problem.
The consequences.
etc
Decision
The protagonist must make a decision
that will carry the story forward. He/she can have the decision made
for them depending on the story (a bomb goes off so they must move
on, the decision is out of his/her hands) but if all decisions are
made for them then it isn’t really the protagonists story is it?
Action
The action should be based on the
decision and should move the story along. We're not talking action as
in – she waved her hand at Mum. We're talking – so I plastered my
face with flour and dribbled on jam for the scars and lay in wait for
the BABY.
So
The story layers seem to be
The finished structure (Hero’s
Journey, Romantic Comedy etc) is created using –
The 7 steps of pacing and plotting
(name, preview, contrast, EVENT, reveal, reflect, react)
Which are built with –
The 5 bricks of The Scene (Reveal,
emote, reflect/discuss, decide, act)
And I’m wishing I’d called the 7
steps something else! That fits the analogy of a building. The 7
girders?
And then, I hear you cry over the internet, ‘What about
the cement? What's glueing it all together?
