Musings on Muses

By Addy Farmer
Guest Blogger

Who does it for YOU?

Muse wise, I mean. Maybe you already have one lolling about somewhere? Maybe you scoff at the very idea of a Muse or perhaps you are already a daughter of Zeus and can do your own musing thank you very much.

The necessity for one of these divine creatures may well depend on the sort of writer you are. There are those who splurge out words until they faint through word excess and then there are those who creak out one sentence at a time. To paraphrase Pam Johnson, the former are 'churners' and the latter are, 'tooth pullers'.

I lean towards the tooth pulling variety.

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead Gene Fowler

 Just relax, this won't hurt a bit

So, I try to imagine a being whose only desire is to inspire my writing.

Gone would be the walking, the vacuuming, toilet cleaning, useless note taking, hair tearing, blood letting – all those things which take up my thinking time when I should be churning out my story. I'm thinking, a Muse could be jolly efficient, like a literary short cut. Cut out the angst - just feed me the story, sister.

And I'm not the only one who thinks a Muse could be a good idea. Quite a few famous writers wanted them. Like Shakespeare:

O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention

Alright, calm down Shakespeare, It's not like the Muse didn't visit you once or twice, unless the rumours are true and it wasn't you … but no, moving swiftly on!

Jonathan Swift definitely had one:

Then, rising with Aurora's light, The Muse invoked, sit down to write; Blot out, correct, insert, refine, enlarge, diminish, interline

Brilliant. Jonathan clearly had a direct line although I couldn't be doing with Aurora's light because that particular Goddess is just a tad too early for my brain. Come to think of it, I wouldn't be keen on a Muse of fire which sounds a little bit … hot.

Damn you for waking me so early!

But look! Here is the Literary Muse. What poise, what elegance, what's she saying to that bloke? Whispering in his ear, no doubt feeding him juicy bits of inspiration all the time. That's got to be useful. I hope he can remember it all, that he doesn't get distracted by all that poise and elegance.

Psst, have you heard the one about …?

I'm not sure I want a daughter of Zeus lookalike though. I reckon radiant physical beauty in a Muse would cause me problems. However, in the interests of science I would be willing to give the following people a Muse try out:

The bloke from Being Human

Gregory Peck

Chris Pine

Even now I suspect that the loveliness of these lovelies would prove too much for my tiny head. I would come over all unnecessary and zero writing would be done. In time, I'd be forced to reconsider the shape of my Muse.

What to do? Well, maybe get away from the whole Muse in human form and turn to the animal world. I mean, I like the look of hairy guinea pigs with their eighties hair dos. Long feathered chickens have the same effect, certain breeds of sheep and to a lesser degree, Highland cattle. Amusing, for sure, and no doubt many hilarious stories would follow but this Muse lacks a certain gravitas or actually any gravitas at all.

What's not to love?

Okay, so maybe something totally non animal will do the job. Clouds, wandering lonely, ephemeral; chap in a bowler hat one moment, performing flea circus the next. Who cannot watch the sky without seeing story in its shapes? Not me!

Take a summer's day, a velvet green hill, lie back on the picnic blanket and let the fluffy Muse do her work. Lovely. Except for when it's not summer and there are ants and the fluffy Muse starts to rain … No, I need a Muse I can rely on.

Clearly, this picnic is seriously out of control.
Photo from Flickr by Joanne and Matt

Different tack then. Perhaps it's best to let the the Muse find you. I suggest the following:

• Play hard to get. 'Muse, me? Oh no, I didn't want one of those,' laugh airily and walk away. She'll come running.
• A blood sacrifice may entice. Use your own blood.
• Tempt her with chocolate, wine, chicken and chips – whatever you know she fancies. Obviously eat them yourself, it's all part of the plan.

And if none of this works? Just believe you have a muse who's waiting to reveal herself to you, in other words – have faith and look in the mirror. Blimey, she was there all along, arguing and sacrificing and eating the good stuff.

Looking good!

Turns out I will have to be content with amusing myself. Oh look, a cloud shaped like David Beckham! I can see him – can you?

Can you see?

Photo from Flickr by Keo 101

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Addy will be running story making sessions at the Lincoln Book Festival. Together with children's illustrator, Carol Daniel, she will attempt to inspire children with fun ideas for writing and drawing.

London Book Fair 2011: Confessions of a Badly Dressed Author

by Teri Terry

This year marks the 40th anniversary of the London Book Fair. The website touts it as 'the perfect place to meet with over 23,000 industry professionals... for three days of education, networking and business opportunities dedicated to making words go further.'

The entrance to the 'deal or no deal' of the publishing industry

And it’s big. But what is it all about? What is in it for the slush pile resident?

I’ve gone for a few years now, and should fess up at the start that I go with two hats on: wide-eyed writer, and because I work as a library assistant. So I go to things like the Children’s Reading Partners roadshow aimed at library professionals (for some reason, they let me in). So I have another reason to be there.

But from the slush pile point of view, I’d say there are three good reasons to go.

One is the seminars. This time I went to two, plus the roadshow mentioned above. Where else can you listen to Philip Pullman talk about the importance of prizes in children’s literature, then realize Malorie Blackman is sitting next to you in the audience?

Another is it is a great place to meet up with other writers you know, or know on-line – eg SCBWI-ites have done this the last two years. It is funny to meet people you’ve only known on Facebook: sort of like blind dating.

A third is really just for the whole experience: to wander past the endless exhibits, see who is who and what they are trying to sell, to get a sense of the scale of the industry we are trying to crack. It is a bit intimidating, but in a good way.

A few things I learned at this year’s LBF:

• Philip Pullman says making the shortlist of a writing competition is an accomplishment; winning is a 'random kindness of providence', dependent on who the judges are and a good dose of chance.
• 90% of searches done by teens on the internet are not done on Google. They are done on YouTube! Must admit I was very surprised at this statistic. It has obvious implications if you write for teens and want them to find you on line.
• if I'm going to keep up this blogging thing, carrying my camera around in my bag isn't good enough: it must come out now and then. Sorry about the lack of visuals!
• it is very entertaining watching how representatives of multiple publishing companies deal with total powerpoint failure.

The Children's Reading Partners Roadshow was brilliant again this year, despite the lack of powerpoint. Each of ten publishing company representatives had five minutes to tell an audience of mostly librarians about their favourites of the year, and there was a warning bell if they got carried away.

It is always very interesting to hear what they pick to talk about. Some had a long list and a few words on each; some only mentioned a few books; some just one, complete with an author in tow to entertain. I did learn the correct way to peel a banana from Andy Briggs, author of a retelling of the Tarzan legend. New books that particularly stuck out to me? I am dying to read Ultraviolet by R.J. Anderson. And, sadly, Eva Ibbotson's last book is out in May: One Dog and His Boy.

And this event was chock full of freebies. This year I sat at the right side of the room - the side with the table of books. I even made the supreme sacrifice of sitting in the front row so I could see what was there, and plan my attack.

What I got: books, proofs & sample chapters: hurrah!

(though all goes to my library, since they let me have the day off)

And we got a few goody bags on our chairs with loads more stuff in, too:

'Stuff'

A final word on the LBF for slush pile residents who may be thinking of going next year: should you come armed with manuscripts? Probably not. Business cards, if you have them? Of course. You never know when you might bump into somebody – an editor in a tea queue, an agent sharing your table at lunch. You might happen along to a publisher's stand just as they have a free minute, and if you're good at schmoozing, it is worth a try.

And finally: I just have to comment on Daisy Frost. I can't help myself. At the end of the Bookseller Daily at the LBF on Tuesday she wrote Agent Provocateur. This is part of what she had to say: 'Outside the rights centre, I spied some badly dressed people holding manuscripts and looking lost. I asked if they needed help. "Yes please - we are authors and we want to get agents. What do we do?" Authors at a book fair? That's like finding a herd of cows going on a daytrip to an abattoir.' And it went on.

OK, while my manuscripts were at home, I did spend a reasonable portion of the day getting lost. And I was in my favourite faded jeans, and will even confess to wearing a hoody. But I love books. As a writer I may look at things differently than many of the busy professionals scurrying from appointment to appointment at the LBF. But to me, this is what is important: the book, and the reader. How you get the book to the reader is what the LBF is all about. But where would all the busy professionals be without the book in the first place? And who knows which badly dressed author may be clutching it: the next big thing that they will be scurrying about trying to sell or acquire at next year’s LBF?

Undiscovered Voices: the Launch!

by Teri Terry

Undiscovered Voices 2012 is open for submissions! And it isn't just any writing competition. Thirteen of the twenty-four children's writers featured in the first two anthologies of winning fiction novels have since either published or are under contract. So join the SCBWI British Isles as quick as you can, and enter! The launch was Tuesday 5th April, and I was there.

We lurked at the bar, then staked out our seats. Waiting, and watching all arrivals: who would the judges be this year? When UV co-editor Sara O'Connor arrived, I was in awe at the number of computers she had secreted about her person to livestream the event for those who could not be there. In addition to being a computer whiz, a UV co-editor and senior editorial manager at Hodder Children's Books, she also introduced the judges and MC'd the evening.

And just who are the judges for 2012?

Apologies for the quality of my photographs! My photographer forgot her camera, so these were taken on my iPod. Left to right, we have:

Literary scout, Dagmar Gleditzsch; Catherine Pellegrino of literary agency Rogers, Coleridge and White, and Sara O'Connor running the show

Julia Churchill of the Greenhouse Literary Agency, and Amber Caraveo, editorial director at Orion Children's Books

Rachel Boden, commissioning editor at Egmont, and Jenny Savill, literary agent at Andrew Nurnberg Associates

Jasmine Richards, senior commissioning editor at Oxford University Press; Joanne Cocadiz, Foyles Children's Books buyer and seller; and reappearances by Dagmar and Catherine.

One big announcement of the evening is that the honorary chair will be none other than Malorie Blackman!

Sara O'Connor asked the judges questions, and we sat on the edges of our seats. Then questions were taken from both audiences - bums on seats, and livestream attendees, who may have been sitting, dancing, or in the bath. Details of the evening have been ably blogged throughout the known universe - I'll include some links at the end.

So I'll just touch on the things that really stuck in my brain.

• they'd really like entries across all age ranges - not just Y.A.
• Enid Blyton and titles with 'Tom' in had the most hits on the judges favourite books lists.
• I'm dying to read The Magnificent Moon Hare, by Sue Monroe (out in Spring 2012): Rachel Boden's favourite recent acquisition. And it isn't just because there is a bunny in it, and it is despite the fact that it is aimed much younger than my usual YA focus. In fact, I'm dying to have Rachel be my editor one day, even it means an age range switch: she described it with such animation and delight.
• books recommended to aspiring writers: Catherine Pellegrino picked one of my favourites, Meg Rosoff's How I Live Now; Jenny Savill, Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book; and Julia Churchill, instead of picking one title, said to read broadly - great advice!
• Rachel Boden is looking for solid adventure with humour for girls and boys aged 8 to 10, and survival stories; she is not looking for straight historical fiction or high fantasy (Tolkien copies).
• Dagmar Gleditzsch also wants adventure stories aged 8 to 10; also funny stories, but not too funny: humour must be able to translate to different languages.
• Amber Caraveo has a gap for middle grade adventure series, and is also actively looking for YA for new imprint, Indigo.
• beginnings are VERY important! - first paragraph, first page, first chapter.
• Jenny Savill says common author pitfalls are too many words, not enough words, or not the right words.
• Julia Churchill did FORTY rejections before coming along to the UV launch. She did look rather cheerful!
• in your 4000 word entry, end in a logical place even if that makes it less than 4000 - end of a chapter, or ideal is on a hook or gasp moment.
• Sara O'Connor will count the words in your biography (max 50 words) and synopsis (75 words): don't be tempted to try to squeeze more in, or you will be disqualified.
• I can't get over that 'never sit in the front row' thing. Candy made me do it; I tried it; I'm sorry. It just feels inherently wrong.

To enter the 2012 UV competition, you must be a member of SCBWI British Isles; you must be unagented and unpublished; you must follow all the rules, and send in your submission by 1st June. The judges are all volunteers; co-editors of UV are Sara O'Connor, Sara Grant, Karen Ball and Elizabath Galloway. It has the financial support of Working Partners.

Links to blogs on Undiscovered Voices: let me know any I've missed and I'll add them in!

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