Punish Angela Whether We Like It Or Not

So I have this mad friend, Angela, who really ought to be writing her novels but instead has launched an insane blog called Reviewed Here First.

The idea is she MUST BE THE FIRST TO REVIEW a children's book. Or else.

And now this raving if talented YA writer wants me to set up some punishments if she fails in the task.

I mean, good grief.

As a compulsively helpful person, I must do her bidding.

If Angela fails (as in, if someone else has already reviewed a book), she must be PUNISHED. So, Angela, SHOULD YOU FAIL TO REVIEW A BOOK FIRST:

1. You must post a picture of yourself doing an animal face - preferably an ape face, my favourite.

2. OR you must rewrite a chapter from any of your novels in picture book style.

3. OR you must rewrite a picture book text in YA style.

4. OR you must take a famous picture book text and add werewolf / zombie / vampires or a horror element to it - to fulfil agent Sarah Davies' statement in Bologna: "horror is the new fantasy".

Any other insane suggestions - stick to children's writing themes please - heartily accepted!